Needy Friends – are they needy or did you change the Goal Post

Needy Friends – are they needy or did you change the Goal Post

• admin
• April 28, 2014

I have been inspired by a resounding theme that I have recently been hearing – “my friend(s) are so needy – I can’t cope/deal with it”.  Women, particularly in their forties onwards – their lives are full – juggling multiple responsibilities between careers and job demands, home duties and tasks, family commitments and friends needs………They feel depleted with nothing left to give……..The question I have to ask is “Are you finding friends NEEDY or DID YOU CHANGE the goal posts”.  Friends don’t suddenly become needy – they have always been that way.  It used to be ok, because we felt needed and it wasn’t so noticeable because life used to be manageable and  there was probably more time……..As the growing demands of life have increased and boundaries have not been put in place or  the list of “to do’s” hasn’t been prioritized – “needy friends” are just ANOTHER thing to “deal with”.   Now that there is less time available due to all the commitments – you realise you don’t have the same capacity to give.   So when your friends call on you – are they needy or did you change the goal posts?  Either way it is not about them being needy, its about how can we can we be authentic about our situation and still be a friend. You never know when you may need them!